Helen – respite carer and trainer

Every child deserves to be raised in a caring, stable family environment. That has been the goal of foster carers Helen and Alex, who have cared for more than 350 foster children, in addition to their own seven kids, over the past 32 years.

The Coffs Harbour couple have provided crisis, short-term, long-term and pre-adoptive care in their time. Now in their late 60s, they still offer respite care to children whose foster carers need a break. “All carers need a decent break. It’s not always easy being a foster parent,” says Helen.

She says respite care is a good way for people to determine if they want to foster longer term and it’s ideal for those who can’t look after a child full time but would still like to help. “You can take a child for a weekend or during school holidays. It’s planned and scheduled well in advance.”

In addition to her fostering commitments, Helen volunteers for Connecting Carers, a state-wide organisation that provides carers with peer support and training. As part of her volunteer work, Helen travels around northern NSW to provide training, support and education to new carers.

The first thing she tells people is to take off their rose-coloured glasses when it comes to fostering. “People don’t always realise what the children will be like. There are often very difficult behaviours, ranging from violent tantrums to sexual acting out and eating issues.

There are some very shattered children out there – we always find it’s a bit like trying to put Humpty Dumpty back together in some ways.”

“It’s important for trainers to be honest and upfront about what new carers might encounter. As a carer myself, I can give them the real deal.”

Helen has managed to keep in touch with many of the children she has fostered and is gratified many of them have flourished. She has also found it extremely satisfying to give the most difficult children ways to cope.

“Alex and I give them those skills for the dark days and when we see them using those skills successfully, that’s the pay back. If they leave us feeling okay about themselves, we know we have done something right.”